I had an interesting session with my hypnotherapist. What began as a discussion about manifesting a wildly successful writing career quickly turned into a discussion about my longstanding body image struggles. Who knew the two could be connected?
She threw me a curve ball when she asked me if I loved myself. I thought, “Of course I do. I’m pretty confident.” But what came out of my mouth was, “I love my character but not my body.” She looked at me and said, “There’s only one Jacque.” But not to me. To me there are two people inside this body: the physical Jacque and then the spiritual one. One part I love, and the other I completely ignore.
I had never thought about it this way before, but once I verbalized it, the truth settled within me. I have complete confidence in myself with regard to my capabilities, but I feel the opposite about my body. In an effort to prevent these these deep-seated insecurities from holding me back professionally, I’ve split myself, trying to carve out the pain.
But that is impossible. We can’t cut away trauma.
We are an amalgamation of our experiences, even the ones we choose to ignore. So in order to advance my career and manifest my success, I have to start by loving myself. All of myself, especially the parts that make me cringe and cry. They are part of me and worthy of love.
Through this integration of body and soul, I intend to live a fuller life. A life where my dreams are my reality.