Yesterday marked exactly one week since sharing my blog, and boy have I learned a lot! In particular, I learned about the importance of protecting my children’s privacy while I write about our family experiences all over the internet. Because of this, you’ll see initials for their names and a lot of the backs of their heads (which I initially thought would be difficult, but it is WAY harder to get all three kids to look AND smile at the me at same time 😂)!
This left me in a bit of a quandary. I can’t only post partial pics of my kids because that might get old (I’m not exactly a professional photographer who knows all these creative angles. I’ve literally just been posting what I used to consider the missed shot), and I realized I’d probably have to start posting pictures of myself 😲.
This brought up a lot of insecurities for me. I’ve gained what I often feel is a tremendous amount of weight, and I never have time for makeup. But then I realized, this is what my blog is all about. It’s about loving our imperfections, including those given to us by our children.
I used to believe, Oh I’ll just do that once I’ve lost weight. I’ll feel better once I’ve lost weight. I’ll start writing my blog once I’ve lose weight, so I can post cute pictures. Basically, my life will just be better because my body will look better (by whose standard?), and then I’ll be happy. I believed this for a long time, and it became my identity. But we are imposing these restrictions on ourselves! I’m here to tell you that the number on your scale and the size of the clothes do not make you who you are. How you love people and treat people (including yourself!) make up your character!
The only thing that should matter when it comes to weight and size is health. Are you healthy enough to engage in the activities you enjoy? Can you chase after your child running on the playground? Can you pick up your toddler? And guess what? Weight/size is only one factor in determining this. Strength is much more important, and that involves the overall health of your body, including injury or illness. At the end of the day, I believe health, mental as well as physical, is most important. We should be asking ourselves questions like, “How’s my marriage?” “Do my children feel heard?” “How would I rate my self-worth?” instead of “How much do I weigh?”
Sometimes I think we forget as moms how lucky we are to have stretch marks, a few extra pounds, and saggy breasts. For every mom who is upset with her body, there’s another who would give anything to have carried a child.
On my rough days, I try to remember that my girls don’t care how much I weigh or how my hair looks; they love me unconditionally because I kiss their booboos and hold them when the gardener comes. When I feel poorly about myself, I try to look at myself through the eyes of my children and love myself the way they love me.