Patient and Powerless

There are times where your child will have to learn life lessons that you simply cannot protect them from. As much as parents understand the importance of such lessons, there is still a part of us that wishes we could do something to soften the blow of reality. Luckily our kiddos are still very young, so our tough lessons are far and few in between.

Feeling powerless is by far one of the worst experiences for a parent or partner. Although I have yet to have my share of those with my kids, I have experienced plenty of those moments with wifey.

Jacque had some of the worst morning sickness I have yet to witness, especially on her first go around with the twins. The nausea and the ensuing vomiting were pretty much non-stop through the entire pregnancy, and there was nothing I could do to make it better. I mean there were the little things like cold compresses, massages, late night meals, store runs etc. but nothing that offered long lasting reprieve from the feelings of pure misery.

Knowing that I tolerate physical discomfort better than Jacque, I would have done anything in my power to switch places. The constant barrage of symptoms kept her in a semi debilitated state throughout the pregnancy.

I am analytically minded, so I had to find a solution to this persistent problem. I did everything that I could to make life more bearable through those ten months, but I wish I could have done more. That first pregnancy is when I had to learn what is perhaps the hardest lesson for any parent or partner… To simply be present and patient through the feelings of powerlessness, and I am still learning.

This does not mean that it gets any easier to watch a loved one struggle, but I am more capable of putting my emotions and feelings aside while I do my best to support my family. Sometimes that involves a full meal at 3 am, and other times it simply means offering companionship to someone who is suffering. Putting my desire to rectify everything aside allowed me to evaluate the situation properly, realize that there is nothing I can do, and to remain patient and powerless. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that.