Every year, a few days before my birthday, I have deep and dark thoughts about missing my sister. Once the day actually comes, the anxiety dissipates, and I am able to find excitement in celebrating with the people who are still here. But those days leading up can be brutal. If you’re missing someone onContinue reading “A Birthday of Memories”
Tag Archives: grief
Sisterly Love
This picture is reminiscent of a story I’ve been told, not a memory I’ve acquired. Yet my response is visceral, like smelling something that slams you back into the past. My oldest two are 4.5 years older than baby Willow, the exact same age gap I had with my sister. My mom told me onceContinue reading “Sisterly Love”
Finding Gratitude in Grief
Today is the day I muster up the courage to tell you that I miscarried. It has been overwhelming, and to be honest, the idea of telling even one more person makes me want to cry. I feel as if every time I talk about it, I am moving backwards, sucked back into the pastContinue reading “Finding Gratitude in Grief”
A New Friend
I had a mommy play date today! I’ve only had a couple of those since becoming a mom, but I have yearned for them for much longer. In my twenties, I thought motherhood was lunch dates and park meet ups, and I couldn’t wait to bond with other mommies. But motherhood is far more complicatedContinue reading “A New Friend”
The Burden of the Living
After yesterday, I’ve walked around all day, thoughtful, heavy, broken. And I continue to think about how the burden of death remains among the living. The pain of death is only felt by those who survive. I used to think that funerals and memorials were ridiculous because why spend time, money, and effort honoring someoneContinue reading “The Burden of the Living”
9 Months to Live
I lost someone I loved today. And as I sit here writing to you, sipping on my delicious maladaptive coping skill, I reminisce, and I suffer. I yearn for that final hug and exchange of words now forever left unsaid. The cancer ravaged her body in 9 months from detection to death. A seemingly healthyContinue reading “9 Months to Live”
What Does Mother’s Day Bring Up for You?
Holidays can be very difficult because they remind us of who is gone but not forgotten. When I worked at a substance abuse treatment facility, I learned about how difficult family celebration days can be for many people. At that point in my life, I had yet to experience great loss, and it was astoundingContinue reading “What Does Mother’s Day Bring Up for You?”
Remembering my Sister on Mother’s Day
We were supposed to celebrate this holiday together, tiny tots in tow. I can picture her little children, hand in hand with mine, sitting at the brunch table. I see braids and bows and baby doll dresses. She was supposed to be Auntie Kimmy to my girls and lavish them with meaningful hugs and thoughtfulContinue reading “Remembering my Sister on Mother’s Day”
Breast is Not Always Best
I want to elaborate on yesterday’s article, The Good & the Bad of the Breastfeeding Movement. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how many supplements we take, how many coaches we consult, or how we change our diet. As much as we yearn for it, as hard as we try, breastfeeding just doesn’t work for some ofContinue reading “Breast is Not Always Best”
Raising Daughters Without My Sister
I saw a friend post on social media about a sister she had lost and how her daughter now shares this sister’s middle name. This relegated me to a sobbing mess at 5:45 in the morning. I too lost my sister; I too have a daughter with my sister’s middle name; I too raise daughtersContinue reading “Raising Daughters Without My Sister”
Jacqueline Pinchuk 