Have you ever hated being a mom? I feel like the idea of being a mom involves these magical unicorn days where we love to be in the presence of our children. But what about the days where we cry and can’t meet their needs because we cannot meet our own.
I’ve experienced more of these during Covid, and they always make me question my quality as a mother. Loving my children has nothing to do with it. Being maxed out does.
I have felt so overwhelmed lately. The girls are home for summer now, and instead of being excited about all the fun things we get to do together, I’m anxious about all the needs I have to meet.
I’m sensitive, easily pushed over the edge, and feel like I’ve lost much of my resiliency. And I feel like Covid stole it. We’re going on over a year now, and we’re all working through things we never anticipated. Being home with all four of my children and my husband has been one of them.
Some days are those magical unicorn days, but some days are not. And I was just wondering if I was alone in feeling ill equipped for motherhood. Terrified I’m f*cking up my children because I’m a mess.
It makes me wonder if the truth of motherhood is a constant slew of insecurities we simply have to throw our hands up at and say, “Well, I’m doing my best.”
Because the hard days do pass, and the wonderful days are nothing short of magical. And I remind myself that Covid will pass too. These are extraordinary times that incite extraordinary feelings. Maybe this makes us extraordinary mothers. For today, I’ll take that.
Jacqueline Pinchuk 