How have your relationships changed since having children? I’ve found that becoming a mother has distanced me from some people and drawn me closer to others. I had no idea how my parenting style could impact someone else’s experience and vice versa, which can also alter our opinions of each other. Let’s be honest. Some parents’ actions we admire, others we vehemently disagree with, and then most fall somewhere in the middle. These interactions and beliefs change relationships.
Before I became a mother, I had lots of ideas about how I wanted to raise my children, but I never gave any thought as to how I would need to factor in the priorities of those around me. This has been an area of learning, growth, and humility for me. The most complicated part of parenting has been navigating this life with other parents because we’re all so different.
We exist somewhere in between the Self and the context of our relationships. How could we not consider those around us when raising our children? For example, my close friends and I all have different sleeping routines for our kids. It has made getting together more challenging, and sometimes that means we don’t see our friends as much. That means we communicate more through texting than in person. It also means we have to compromise on who hosts the party, who gets babysitting, and who just brings their kids along.
Yev and I had twins before most of our friends even had one kid, so I thought things would get easier once our friends were in the same situation. Things definitely didn’t get easier, but they did get better. My relationships have become a little tougher to navigate at times, but they are more meaningful and worthwhile. I feel as if I have grown roots deep enough to intertwine with those next to me. We draw strength from each other, and we have become equipped to battle any season of life.
Jacqueline Pinchuk 